Alright, this is a blog post I have been thinking about writing for a little while, but recent events pushed it to the forefront. I had my son, Elliot, here with me for five weeks, and sadly, I had to fly with him back to Kansas where he lives with his mom. While Elliot was here with me in Utah, we went and did a lot of really fun things and had a great time. The night before I needed to take him back to Kansas, we went to a fun center that has roller-skating rink, arcade, laser tag and a small trampoline park.
So, Elliot, my nephew, Carson, and I went to go play a couple of rounds of laser tag, and while we were waiting for the next game to play, there were some early teenagers that were saying horrible things to kids and people as they passed. Some are things I wouldn't even repeat. The terrible names and insults were so....well....terrible.
Between the second and eight grades, I was bullied really bad by so many people. I wish I could say that I don't even remember their names, but I do, even if it's something someone said just one time, I remember them and their insults. However, I have learned a lot about myself in the past ten years. Learning I have Asperger's Syndrome makes a lot of things in my life make sense. I can see how I was a different type of kid, and how my actions that seemed normal to me, probably weren't normal to other kids. I'm in no way saying that the kids and early teenagers were in the right to treat me and talk to me and beat me up regularly like they did, but I understand that I had an unfortunate target on my back that I didn't know that I had.
I may remember the insults, and bruises from people, but I've been able to forgive. I wish I could say forgive and forget, but sometimes I think that it is important to remember for two reasons. Number One: So that we know who actually love and care for us. Number Two: So we don't act in the same manner. My nephew, Carson, who just turned 14 today, looked at me when those teenagers were saying all of these horrible things, and said, they are so toxic and terrible. I told him that he was right, and Elliot looked up at me, and I told him that if he ever repeated those things, even if he wasn't making fun or insulting someone, that I would put him in a troubled kids detention center. Maybe that was a little strong, but honestly, I would be disgusted to hear anyone I love or care about saying those things.
So, forgiveness is the first part. You don't have to tell the person(s) that you forgive them, but it's important to forgive people, and realize that we all have things we need to be forgiven for as well. I also want to say that I have always had wonderful friends throughout my life. Some I am still close with, and some have moved down different paths, but I have always had good friends and feel blessed that I have a good sense of choosing my friends wisely. However, I feel there is something else we can do.
I strongly believe that we have the power to change people for better, and for worse. Depending on the way we treat people, even if it is short and brief, it can set off a chain of events that we can't begin to understand. So,what is this second thing I want to talk about?
If you want someone to stay as they are, or become worse, treat them the same, or worse than they are. I can guarantee you, that person will stay the same, or become worse. However, if we treat everyone better than they actually are, there's a great, significant chance that the person we treat well will actually become a better person. Maybe the person just doesn't have a friend, and are acting out. Maybe their family life is an abusive situation, and the things they learn at home carry over into their lives, and don't realize they are being mean and inappropriate. We never know what happens behind closed doors. There are tons of situations that the person who is bothering us, is actually bothered by others and situations they don't have control over. It doesn't excuse the actions, but it helps the forgiving process.
And here is one last thing. The third thing is, and I am saying this to you, the readers, my friends and family, I believe you are all amazing people, and I love you all. Having said that, you need to learn how to not judge people, but recognize when something is wrong, it's up to us, knowing these three things, that instead of judging the person, and maybe gossip a little bit about what that person is doing that annoys you, instead, again, treat them better than what they are. I will give you an example.
When I served a mission for the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Detroit, Michigan, I had a missionary companion that was rude to me, and at first I was feeling a little judgmental, but I realized something, whenever I was positive with him, and complimented him, his demeanor changed. After about a week, he wasn't being rude or annoying to me, and he actually became a very nice and compassionate person. By treating him like he was a good person, worthy of love and friendship, became a great person. I am still in contact with him, and it's been a good friendship over the years.
For some crazy reason, when you treat people with love and respect, or extend a hand of friendship to them, even if they don't eventually become a good friend you want to keep with you in the passing years, at least they will have experiences in their lives down the road, and are reminded that they are lovable and are worthy of friendship. Not only will the person most likely not be as annoying to you anymore, and you have changed a life at the same time.
Every person on this earth is worth something to someone, for good or bad, so make it good!
I hope you are all doing well and are still being careful during the pandemic, that is still a huge problem, and not just that, but it's hard to think that I started this blog a couple of weeks into the pandemic. It's crazy how much life has change for everyone on this planet during the pandemic. I wish I could say they have all been good changes, but they haven't. During this pandemic, Elliot had to move with his mom to Kansas, making me miss him incredibly, and in ways I had never expected to think and feel. We have lost friends and loved ones. I have gained over 35 pounds, and I am now having to exercise and diet, which I have never really needed to do before in the past because I was always doing things that included exercise and keeping in shape. I was watching some old videos of me doing improv comedy, and I am slimmer than slim in those videos. I am actually embarrassed to even mention my weight gain, but I have always told you that I will always be truthful, and always be positive.
Right now, I have a few little things in the works that I am excited about. I don't want to mention things until they become more concrete, but I think they will be really cool, and am excited about them. With my Asperger's Syndrome symptoms, when I get excited about things, I become obsessed with them. It's actually a symptom that I like. It's because of those obsessions that I have been able to become a film critic and writer. I have obsessions with film, music, sports, theater and video games, and those things make me happy and learn about things I never would have on my own. Anyway, I have some stuff that I am excited about, and am excited to announce them. I just want to make sure it's a sure thing.
Well, that's it for this blog. Be kind, be healthy, work hard, and be happy. I will be back again soon with a new blog post. Have a great day or night.
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